Raising Your Teenager
Now available as an e-book on Kindle and at smashwords.com!
Dr. Roger McIntire's latest book, Raising Your Teenager: 5 Crucial Skills Moms and Dads Need addresses typical teen problems in practical ways that get results. The book describes five skills in 140 brief discussions that will help parents deal with their teen's adjustments and yet still maintain cooperation and a pleasant family atmosphere. Check it out at Dr. McIntire's website, RogerMcIntireOnline.com to read reviews or download a free excerpt, or head over to our bookstore to purchase now!
ISBN 9780615356709. $17.95. Kindle and other e-book formats: $3.99.
This month's tip: How Will You Spend Family Time This Year?
Pay attention to priorities for family time. Eating together at meal times and doing chores together bond families. Active and useful activities instead of TV-watching build competencies and bodies. Listening keeps parents and children close. Make these your priorities for 2012.
Making Friends
"Why don't the other kids like me," is a heartbreaking question. Here are a few hints to pass on to your children that might help.
1. Develop the compliment habit. Withholding compliments, whether out of inattention, jealousy, or a fear of embarrassment is a mistake--even if the one giving the compliment is only 15. While waiting and hoping to be admired themselves, kids often neglect the other person's yearning for a kind word. Even that nasty kid in the last row hopes for some positive companionship.
2. Make a "friendship" list. To better understand the impression students have on others, school counselors sometimes ask students to write down why they like certain people and not others. If you have a troubled teenager, ask him or her to make such a list of the qualifications for friendship.
While appearance and being cool will be high on their list when thinking of themselves, teens usually list different characteristics when thinking about why they like someone else. The most common reasons teens mention are: someone they admire, someone who likes them, someone who is available and who is a reliable companion.
3. Learn to listen. Parents coaching their teenager should ask: "Where do you look when talking with a friend? You don't want to stare at them, but if you look away too much, the other person thinks you don't care. Your eyes, reaction, and posture say a lot about how you feel." Everybody needs time, wants to be liked and has a story to tell. Friends need to listen to friends.
Cool. sarcastic, angry, or bitter people make interesting characters in movies and on TV, but teens should realize that in real life, Ms. and Mr. Cool are not well liked because they show little concern or interest in others.
The quick comebacks. put downs, and ridicule that make up sitcom jokes don't produce good school friends or a warm family life. Parents need to set a good example. No one feels safe when every comment risks ridicule.
- From Raising Your Teenager, by Dr. Roger McIntire.
Parenting tips provided by our expert Dr. Roger McIntire, father of three and author of nine parenting books, including Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, and Enjoy Successful Parenting. Be sure to check out his blog, ParentSuccess with Dr. McIntire for new and updated tips!
Explore our extensive parenting tips archive for expert advice columns on almost any topic or browse our resources list for links to further help. Dr. McIntire's blog is at rogermcintire.wordpress.com.
