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Parenting Tips From ParentSuccess.com ~ Bringing Up Boys
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 Boys are five times more likely than girls to have accidents with bikes, sticks and baseball bats. Later on, they are four times more likely to have trouble with the law. They cause most teen driving accidents and get most of the traffic tickets. They also have lower grades in school and are more likely to drop out.
Boys have shrunk to a minority in colleges, medical schools, and law schools. By 2010, for every 100 male college graduates there will be 142 women. By 12th grade, 44 percent of girls have become proficient readers but only 28 percent of boys have made that standard. Only 41 percent of boys said they “often” tried to do their best work in school, compared with 67 percent of the girls. Now that the “male chores” of the farm have become less needed in city life, girls have an advantage. They make an earlier contribution to the family, particularly in the domestic chores. As a result, they enjoy early appreciation and are better prepared to care for themselves. One boy came to me to sign out of college. He was dropping out of his first year of college because he couldn’t take care of himself. After a childhood empty of practice, he just couldn’t handle college life. Dads are particularly vulnerable to falling down on the job of providing support for practice in daily chores. Dads can also easily fall into competition with their sons and hold back on compliments for chores well done for fear of appearing weak. As a result, dozens of young men have told me, “As far as my Dad was concerned, I always felt I was never quite good enough.” One student of mine said that after he told his father his senior grades, all A’s and a “B” in math, his father said, “Why didn’t you come to me? You know I have always been good in math.” Another student told me that when he took up the saxophone on his own he didn’t tell his dad because he knew he would only hear criticism. When he finally told his father he won a high school contest in music, his father said, “Well, music has always been easy for you.” Support your school’s active projects in home improvement, financial management, small business management, mortgages, stock markets, computer management, applied science, and tracking diet and exercise. These projects encourage both boys and girls to be proud of their abilities right now. Even abstract subjects can include practical projects even though college applications won’t ask about “non-academic” skills. Schoolwork should help your son with his concerns now, at his present age. “Someday you’ll need this,” is not enough.
Dr. McIntire is the author of Teenagers and Parents: 10 Steps to a Better Relationship and Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, available in our bookstore. His newspaper column appears in a growing number of newspapers nationwide. |
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