For these kids it will be another year of bullies and victims. The bullies will blame their behavior on the victims. The victims will blame the bullies. For the teachers, it's one of many nuisances that they have to "work out."

Parents may intervene, worry, or side with the aggressor but the result will be that each day, the School Psychologists Association reports, 160,000 students will skip school to avoid bullies. Among the ones who attend, about 30 percent will not do well, a National Institutes of Health survey found, because they are busy looking for victims or busy hiding from the hunters.

Parents are likely to underestimate the problem, hoping their child will work it out so they can avoid any unpleasant duty of their own. While 75 percent of children surveyed by the National Crime Prevention Council said teasing and bullying was a problem, half of the parents denied it.

The bullying problem has real costs. The finances of schools are influenced by loss of ADA (Average Daily Attendance). If a school system of 15,000 students increased attendance by one extra day per year per student, state funding would increase by several hundred thousand dollars. The state of Florida estimates that each "at risk" student costs $1,256 more per year to educate than a "regular" student.

The first weeks of the school year are crucial. Gary Ladd at Arizona State University tracked 500 children for eight years and found that by the third month of school bullies have zeroed in on their targets - testing the reactions of their peers to being hit, bit, kicked and threatened. He says the victims have "a kind of anxious vulnerability and fearful looks on their faces - sort of deer in the headlights kind of look."

The most effective deterrent to bullies is the reactions of bystanders and teachers. Bullies want a one-on-one confrontation and stop or back away when others interfere. So bullies tease and criticize an individual's appearance and behavior. They avoid the stronger social norms concerning religion and race where others are more likely to come to the aid of the victim.

I can not help but think the school staff are often just as frightened as the victims of the bullies. So they duck the issue with, "Not my problem." Victims are hesitant to complain because they know that support is not likely, and staff are hesitant to take action because they are not sure that administrators will support them.

A prejudice against children often inhibits support and intervention when it is needed most. Can you imagine a store manager telling a bleeding employee attacked by another employee, "You'll just have to learn to protect yourself!"? Yet it is a common teacher reaction.

One excellent source for help is: Bully-Proofing Your School: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools published by Sopris West, (303) 651-2829 or sopriswest.com. This book describes effective long-range programs for schools and parents and provides useful handouts, exercises, and needed strategies. Kate Cohen-Posey's book, How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies gives specific advice to kids on what to say. The Bully by Rita Y. Toews is an excellent workbook and guide for young kids. Simon's Hook is a colorfully illustrated picture book also providing help for younger children.