So what can a parent give as the "right" gift? For the boxes under the tree, I'm afraid we're all stuck with guessing. But in our hearts a new resolve may be the best gift of all. The children need not know and probably wouldn't understand anyway, but a parent's secret resolve can give the parent satisfaction on Christmas morning. Here are some possible selections:

1. To put aside, every day, more time for listening without criticism or advice.
2. To make sure, every day, that my children know that I not only love them but I like him or her - that he or she has many capabilities and likable characteristics.
3. To make myself more healthy not only to ensure that I will be there as they grow up, but also as a model for them. I will be more careful controlling diet, exercise, and bad habits.
4. To give over more responsibility to my children so the child-rearing moves along toward adult-rearing.
5. To show tolerance so that tolerance will be admired.
6. To control anger so that moderation will be appreciated.

So as the shreds of giftwrapping swirl around you on Christmas morning, know in your heart that your promise is the best wrapping and your fulfillment of that promise is the best gift your child will have - even if at the moment their attention is on the "stuff."

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