Less than three months ago, they were at home and in a high school that kept close track of them everyday. Now, with only self-direction to go on, they can easily make mistakes that lead to problems.

Proud parents can inadvertently encourage too many hours at a part-time job that becomes a convenient distracter from important assignments. "Fred is wonderful. He's taking 18 credits, works 20 hours a week, and reads to the blind on Saturdays."

When you're talking with your student about habits and schedules, keep your conversational pace slow, use non-threatening questions, and keep suggestions in check until you know the whole story.

After a talk with her son, one mother told me her son had skipped his psychology course "a couple of times" because he didn't understand the lectures. Checking with the lecturer I learned the student had attended only the first three classes and then cut the next two weeks to work instead. Time for a more honest conversation between Mom and her son.

Parents of teens with a year of high school left can prepare their sons and daughters by giving explanations and responsibility now for habits concerning health and the management of time and money.

One student, confused over washing machine cycles, complained all his underwear was now pink. When I joked he could buy all new things, he cried, "I don't even know my size!" The little number on his elastic followed him for years unnoticed because Mom did that kind of shopping.

Credit card offers and sales advertisements will fill student mailboxes. Caution your college student to keep life simple and say "No" to extra payments on cars, credit, and clothes.

As your student leaves for college, does he have the proper prescriptions for any regular medications and complete information on any allergies that a physician might need to know in an emergency? Does he know a specialist near the college to turn to if a chronic condition flares up?

How about having friends and relatives over for an "Off-To-College" shower? Guests might each bring a small gift representing their thoughts on, "When I was in college, I had a little...travel kit organizer for toiletries...a pack of erasable-ink pens...a phone card. It was the best help." My sister-in-law gave my daughter a $10 roll of quarters for the laundry - not a four-year supply, but a very thoughtful gift.

Each guest could add a tip in a greeting card or guest book. "When I was first on my own, the best thing I did was...join the church young adults group...take up dancing... run every day...have a good breakfast every morning."

The gifts are not important, but the good wishes and feeling of support from both parents and the larger family are.