Mom: "Yes, that's right. Why?"
Almost-adult: "That's where I want to go to college."
Mom (thinking of Dad's reaction to a $100,000+ debt): "Why?"
Almost-adult: "John said he might go there. We could room together. It would be great."

If your son or daughter will be a high school junior this year, plan to visit colleges that are of interest. Most schools are prepared for weekend visits of prospective students. The expense will be a good investment if your student calls ahead, meets with advisors and visits dining halls, dorms, etc.

A junior should also plan outside activities and jobs with those college applications in mind. Experience with TV and video games will not be as impressive as community volunteering and related work experience.

If your student is a senior, application deadlines need to be checked and teachers and others who might write letters of recommendation should be contacted. The question is, after grades and test scores put your offspring's application in a drawer with hundreds of others that have identical numbers, what will make his stand out? Also, beware of on-line applications and word processors that are too private and tempt a student to hit "send" without your editing and review.

The best predictor of dropping out of college is how far the student lives from campus. While 50 percent of freshmen drop out, very few drop out because of grades. It's more likely to be the faraway apartment, the faraway job, the commutes and the bad habits that will weaken the college effort.

Once on the downward slide, missing class is the best predictor of failure. When you start cutting classes, there's not much left to quit.

Freshmen mail boxes are filled with credit card offers and advertisements. Caution your student to keep life simple and say "No" to payments on cars, credit cards and clothes - they only tempt him to work more hours.

How about an "Off-To-College" shower? Friends and relatives could bring a small gift representing their thoughts on, "When I was in college, my palm pilot...a pack of erasable-ink pens...a phone card was the best help." My sister-in-law gave my daughter a $10 roll of quarters for the laundry - not a four-year supply, but a very thoughtful gift.

Guests could pass along their experienced advice in a greeting card or guest book. "When I was first on my own, the best thing I did was...join the church young adults group...take up dancing... run every day...have a good breakfast every morning."

Concern and thoughtful advice from the extended family can make a big difference.