Erik is adjusting well, but he needs his dad’s help, not discouragement, in getting along with girls. If radio host Don Imus had more of Erik’s experience in his boyhood he might have saved himself great embarrassment. Such negative attitudes are dangerous baggage as Imus found out.

The youngest generation in the workforce was born after 1985. They have no experience with the exclusions of women combat soldiers, women CEOs, or women presidential candidates.

In 2007, 150 women will be awarded college degrees for every 100 men and the majority of students in medical school, law schools, and graduate schools are women. If you want to get ahead these days, you need to learn to get along with all the people, not just the male half.

Erik’s dad can help by setting a careful example and avoiding thoughtless “Don Imus moments” that imply that some group is ignorant, inherently amoral or has less potential. The example Erik’s dad sets before him should help keep him out of trouble at school and work and in no need of excuses and back peddling when contrary cases are brought up.

Review your messages to your children, both girls and boys. A comment that says women should watch their figure but boys should have another beer is unhealthy for the boys and promotes a priority of characteristics for women that’s too shallow.

Of course there are genuine differences between the genders, but most are useful only to community and educational planners. For example, boys are five times more likely to have accidents with bikes, sticks and baseball bats and five times more likely to get into trouble in school. Later on, they are four times more likely to have trouble with the law. They also have lower grades in school and are more likely to drop out.

There are exceptions, but generally girls develop social skills more rapidly, learn to please adults, teachers and parents, and surge ahead in school grades.

Men and boys need good role models before them in school, also, to keep them looking ahead and not giving up in the high school years. Without college experience the divorce rate is 50 percent; with college it is 25 percent. Crime rates among those who have not gone to college are five times higher than among college graduates, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

A boy’s inclination to give personal interests and entertainment top priority and to give school responsibilities and social obligations low ranks is a risk factor in the school years and in his marriage later on. He needs encouragement to tackle the hard tasks in school and, when school is out, we all need to keep the family priorities straight and social perspective fair and realistic.