If you watch the tube even a little, you would think that all you have to do for instant happiness is guess the right answer on TV. So a child may think: "If I could just get on that show, I wouldn’t need to go to school, and I could just sit and play my favorite computer game.” This notion that happiness is about what you “have” and not about what you “do” is a common confusion among children.

The media also gives the false impression that winning a fortune is only a matter of time and a little luck. This leads to Little League players who dream of fame and fortune and college football players who hope for big bucks with the pros—against all odds.

Parents and grandparents need to counter this misleading hype that implies that hard work and mental effort are only compromises for those unlucky enough to fail at the big score.

Our teens follow the latest news about celebrities and their millions and conclude that success somehow happens and money surely leads to lifelong happiness. But as the biographies and interviews come out, we learn of the hardships and disappointments caused by drugs, alcohol and embattled marriages.

Gambling is the next common step after unrealistic teenagers reluctantly leave their dreams beside life’s road. If luck in sports didn’t do it, maybe, they think, “I could win on the slots or at the races.”

When the first theory of happiness—that winning enough "stuff" will do it—fails to produce results, a growing-up person may move on to: "If only Mr. (or Ms.) Right would come along, he (she) could make me happy."

Grandpa or Grandma could point out from experience that even Mr. or Ms. Right was not perfect and often came up short on the "providing happiness" scale.

Perhaps we can then guide our children on to the third theory of happiness—that happiness is in the doing of life, not in the collecting of stuff.

A parent-child conversation that takes inventory of a child's successes and strengths can help with the do-it-yourself job of happiness. "You really understand these computers. Your mom and I need you around just to keep us out of trouble!"

Happiness is not achieved by acquiring stuff or finding the right companion. It comes from satisfaction with yourself and what you are doing. Parents can help by keeping the kids busy learning about and developing their own abilities.