by Dr. Roger McIntire
$11.95

Now available in a new, revised edition, Teenagers and Parents remains the practical, sensible resource it has been for more than 10 years. The 10 well-illustrated steps foster mutual respect and open communication in the family and offer guidelines on alternatives to punishment, influencing behavior, improving school performance, and building self-esteem and confidence.

For parents feeling used and manipulated by their teens, the book lists nine parent rights that can help protect their feelings and stop the abuse.

FROM THE REVIEWERS:

La Leche League, April 1991
"Reassuring and enjoyable!"

PCA Newsletter, Virginia School Counselor Assn, Winter 1991
"Teenagers & Parents is extremely readable. It is an excellent guide for parents to use on their own. It is also a very valuable resource for high school counselors to use with parents. This book would provide an excellent guide to use with a parent group."

The Southern Illinoisan, Carterville, IL, Jan. 4, 1996
"It helps guide parents to avoid the slammed doors and sulks [by using] techniques that work with teens."

The Martinsburg Journal, Martinsburg, WV, Feb. 5, 1995
"Offers comprehensive advice on how to raise teens into psychologically healthy adults and deal with common problems along the way."

Jewish Family Services Newsletter, Fall, 1991
"Provides ready-made and extremely relevant curriculum for a parenting class."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Roger McIntire, father of three, taught child psychology and principles of family therapy at the University of Maryland for 32 years. Now Professor Emeritus, he is a popular speaker and columnist and a frequent guest at radio and TV talk shows.

EXCERPTS:

Liking behaviors are habits that grow with practice and replace their opposites--criticism, sarcasm, and negative comments."

"The responsibility to present a good model is the most awesome responsibility of parenting."

When parents take care of their own needs, they help their teens as well as themselves."

"The main role of a family is to provide a place where successful practice is supported and mistakes receive only constructive reactions."

"Growing up, that is practicing to be an adult, requires a lot of parent-planned practice...The only place there is love enough for all that practice is in the family."

"In addition to practice, we need recognition, respect, encouragement and rewards."

"One obvious characteristic of a teen's 'bad dispositon' is that it generally reduces parent demands. It's true that a parent can silence a teen or keep him from acting up by taking a threatening pose that implies punishment. The teen learns and uses the same idea, but since he is a less powerful figure he must use threat in a more subtle way. I have named a teen's threats and lack of compliance 'guff' or 'guff control' since some parents I have worked with said they had a habit of giving in rather than 'taking all that guff.'"

"The most common error when beginning to teach something new is to demand too much for too little. The first steps need big rewards-- not necessarily money or tangible goodies, but plenty of encouragement."

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Providing a Safe Place to Talk
Step 1: Communicate in Positive Ways
Step 2: Watch Out for Blames and Games
Encouraging Practice of Skills They Need Now
Step 3: Coach Teens About School and Social Skills
Step 4: Make Room for Your Teen to be Useful and to Be "Weird"
Coaching in Critical Areas
Step 5: Give Special Attention to Habits Concerning Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, and Cars
Step 6: More Toward Treating Them Like Adults Now
Planning Reactions to "Almost-Grown-Ups"
Step 7: Avoid Frequent Punishment and Its Disadvantages
Step 8: Use Alternatives to Punishment
Caring for Yourself in the Parenting Job
Step 9: Protect Your Feelings and Your Rights--Tolerate No Abuse!
Step 10: Seek Cooperation From Your Friends, Spouse and Relatives Index